Ensign Stephens
by Gojirob
Summary: What is Darrin doing aboard the Starship Voyager, and what is Tom Paris doing on Morning Glory Circle? Written with the able aide of MSTing legend Bill Livingston, whose MSTing comments I reedited in as dialogue and narrative.


**Ensign Stephens**

by Rob Morris and Bill Livingston

The starship Voyager was under the kind of attack that the Starship Voyager often found itself under. They were taking fire on their west flank, and in engineering, Torres, Carey and Werd were undertaking emergency repairs. The ship had crossed an invisible line on an unseen star chart, and unwittingly offended an unknown race using unfamiliar weaponry.

This time, though, one of Captain Janeway's crew was not responding properly. In fact, he was not responding at all. He just stared dumbly at his console, and sometimes at Seven Of Nine.

"Ensign Paris! Fire!"

With honest pleading, the man looked up at Captain Janeway. But her look was as stern as that of a 19th Century orphanage matron.

"Lady, how exactly would you have me do that? There's no button marked 'fire' on this mishmash Lite-Brite. And somehow, I don't think I should just be pushing buttons at random."

Hitting the proper switches, Janeway pointed at the confused crewmember.

"Consider yourself on report, Ensign...Paris? Computer, locate Tom Paris."

Kathryn's confusion over the newcomer would not be cleared up that easily, though.

*Ensign Paris is not currently on Voyager.*

Just then, a thin gray alien appeared on the Bridge. What looked an awful lot like a bomb was in his hands. Either that, or his communicator had a smoking fuse.

"These Treaties Hath Be Violented. Our foeship must be destroyered."

The newcomer winced.

"He sounds like Spiro T. Agnew after a bender."

This time, though the ensign was of a bit more use. He held up a finger, and recited.

"Let Time Be Slowed Down; Give Up This Fight; Let All Around Believe Your Borders Alright! And errrr--put away that dynamite."

He then pulled back his hand, and the alien vanished, as did the attacking ship. The man then sighed.

"I hated to do it, but you were right, Sam."

A bit calmer now, Janeway asked a question.

"How did you just do that?"

It was Chakotay who answered, though.

"Captain, our guest here is a warlock--a male magic user. I witnessed similar incantations, during my studies back on Earth."

The man stood up, obviously upset.

"Hey, pal! I am no Warlock! Never have been, never wanted to be. That magic I used was given to me for emergencies, and that's only because my wife insisted. Now I demand to know where I am!"

Janeway took this one.

"One: aboard my ship, you demand exactly--nothing-and you'll get it, too! Two: drop that tone of voice, or I'll have you in the brig so quickly, it'll seem like 'Magic'. Three: you are aboard the Federation starship USS Voyager, currently in the Delta Quadrant. I am Kathryn Janeway, but you may call me 'Captain'. Do we have an understanding?"

The man looked as whipped by the overall situation as by Janeway's tough talk. He found both somewhat confusing and irritating. He sat down.

"For whatever its worth, I'm sorry, Captain. But you have to understand my life. I mean, this isn't even my original physical appearance! I love my wife with all my heart, but being married to a witch can be pre-tty trying, at times."

"So your wife sent you here, Mister..."

"Darrin Stephens. No, Samantha wouldn't do this, even at her angriest. And I've gotten her plenty angry, trust me. No. This started in the usual way. I got into an argument with my Mother-In Law."

Janeway nodded.

"And your wife's mother is a 'witch' as well?"

Stephens smiled quite sarcastically.

"Ohhhhh.......Yes. Endora....Is A Real Witch!"

The Captain sensed in this a back story she did not wish to pursue. Unless it involved herself, her crew, her ship or the Prime Directive, most people's personal lives she tended to leave alone. But this case would prove an exception.

"Mister Stephens, our Doctor is going to take a look at your health, and you will be given quarters for the duration of your stay."

Darrin's eyes closed, as though he were fighting off a headache.

"Please tell me you people aren't Russians, and that I didn't just blab my family's secret to the other side?"

Now, Janeway's eyes closed. The lightly paranoid question told a great deal about their guest's home.

"Mister Stephens, what year is it?"

"1971, of course. Why, what year do you think it is? No...ohhh, no. What year is it?"

Janeway sighed.

"We can't say. We have to protect the present as we know it. Suffice it to say, you're In The Future."

Neelix's face appeared on screen. Darrin felt a bit put off by the alien's facial appearance, more non-human than that of Tuvok. The man looked to Stephens a bit like a large woodchuck.

"Hi, Voyager! This Is The Neelix Report. Today is the six-hundredth anniversary of the signing of the American Declaration Of Independence, a date very important in the history of Earth and The Federation. Y'know, on Talaxia, we had a similar holiday..."

"Its 2376?"

After saying this, Stephens put his hands on his head, and Janeway mentally strangled Neelix. She then considered whether to strangle him for real.

* * *

WESTPORT, CONNECTICUT, 1971

Tabitha Stephens was questioning her visitor mercilessly.

"So what'd you do after you blew up the underwater base, Tom? C'mon, please tell me!"

Tom Paris was having the time of his life, despite it all.

"Well, I got in BIG trouble, kind of like you did with your Mom, for not cleaning your room--OK?"

"You got sent to bed without dessert?"

"No. But Captain Janeway made sure I got my just desserts. And then some."

The six-year-old nodded.

"Ok. I like you, Tom. But I miss my Daddy."

"Well, I'm sure we'll get him back soon, Tabitha. Me, I should never have gotten up this morning. For that matter, maybe I should never have left orbit over Bajor."

Tabitha asked a question.

"Isn't that where Deep Space Nine is?"

"No, it's about Voyager. We only left the Alpha Quadrant from...wait. How do you know about a place that hasn't even been conceived, much less built yet?"

Samantha Stephens came out of the kitchen, having again failed to contact her mother.  
Despite Sam's gift of a dimension-phone, Endora rarely if ever turned the device on.

"Tabitha....we don't discuss things like DS9, now do we? Go check on Adam's nap, Ok?"

Tom Paris felt like he had missed more than a few briefings.

"Ok, Mommy."

The little girl stood up and kissed Tom on the cheek. She either had a crush, or Tom's days were now numbered.

"I Love You, Tom. Do you have a girlfriend?"

Tom chuckled.

"Sure Do. She's A Klingon. Really Jealous, too. Let's keep what you just told me our secret, Ok? Otherwise, she may actually learn how to use that bat'leth."

"A Klingon? You mean like Mister Worf?"

"Um---half-Klingon."

"Ohhh. A hybrid, like Mister Spock!"

"Tabitha!"

"Yes, Mommy. I'm going. Boy, wait till I grow up and...then you'll see."

A door lightly slammed upstairs, but Samantha let it pass without comment.

"Sorry, Tom. We know some folks who have been to some wild places. One of them is like a brother to me. I can't say more than that. It's a bit complicated…"

Tom quickly nodded in agreement.

"That's like saying Antarctica is a bit nippy."

"....but we know a lot about the 24th Century."

Sam stopped talking when Larry Tate burst in, quite unannounced. He walked straight over to Tom Paris. Both witch and pilot sat in nearly stunned silence as he began talking very quickly.

"Look, I know you're just someone who appeared in Darrin's office---but if you could just give me some help on The Shuster Account, It'd be a real shot in the arm for McMahon and Tate."

Paris looked at the advertising tycoon in utter disbelief. The Voyager refugee found that this absurd situation could still surprise him. He almost snickered as he responded.

"Hi, my employee's missing, and you were found near the scene, so you're the logical person to take over for him. With those kinds of business instincts, it's no wonder you've made your way into upper management!"

Before Tate could fire back a response, Sam gestured, and caused him to backtrack out, for the moment forgetting about them all.

"Hmm...I should really do that more often. He can be quite pushy."

Paris shook his head.

"Pushy? I've met less aggressive Ferengi."

Sam didn't know everything about Tom's era, of course, and so let that one pass.

"For the moment, I better concentrate on getting Mother here. You can watch TV, you know."

"I...know. No offense, Sam, but I was kind of avoiding it."

"None taken. But while it's not interactive, it's all we've got, and with a nosy neighbor, I'm reluctant to use magic in the house."

Tom recalled something she had said that was plainly at odds with that statement.

"Didn't you mention tons of relatives using magic, popping in and out, altering the landscape, the neighbors--your husband?"

Sam had a simple answer.

"Tom, there's a difference between using dumb luck to your advantage and hoping for it to bail you out every time. In short, my relatives have already pressed people's willingness to deny what they know they've seen, and I don't need to push that any further."

Paris nodded that he understood, and then shrugged.

"Ahh. I guess I'll give the TV a chance."

Tom turned on the set.

*On Adventure Theatre 3000, it's that serial movie classic, 'The Adventures Of Captain Proton' Coming up next!*

He smiled.

"TV was not without its bright spots."

* * *

USS VOYAGER

Kim and Tuvok reported to Janeway on the efforts to restore both their time-lost guest and their missing comrade.

"Captain, we've isolated the chronal energy signature that brought Darrin here."

"Indeed. Mister Kim and I both feel that by inverting it, we should be able to cancel this so-called magic, negating its hold. There is a low probability of side effects for Mister Stephens, not wholly unlike those of your Warp Ten trip with Mister Paris."

Janeway glared at her old friend. Tuvok had caught himself too late.

"Thank you, Tuvok. We all know how much I love to be reminded of that."

Darrin shook his head.

"Uh...folks? As much as I appreciate this, just maybe we should all wait for Endora to calm down."

Doing some final calculations on the chronal inversion, Harry Kim looked up.

"Sorry, Mister Stephens. But do we even *have* that long to wait? I mean, this Endora sounds like the kind of person who's still carrying grudges against the Medes and Persians."

If he disliked his wife's mother, Darrin also had no use for wisecracking ensigns.

"She's not *that* old! I just mean, messing with magic can be, well...messy."

But Tuvok disagreed.

"This 'magic' is simply another form of directed energy. Logic dictates that we, with our advanced knowledge of temporal mechanics, should be able to re-direct it."

Darrin apparently did not have much faith in Tuvok's theory.

"The man is trying to use logic against Endora."

Janeway smiled.

"Don't worry, Darrin. We've dealt with her type, before. We've done alright."

Seven Of Nine and Be'lanna stood at their posts. Be'lanna noted, as always, that one of them stood both at and *out* at their post.

"Initiating temporal inversion."

His warnings ignored, Darrin Stephens looked about his futuristic surroundings.

"Initiating queasy stomach is more like it."

WESTPORT, CONNECTICUT, 1971

Gladys Kravitz wondered what the humming noise above her house was.

"I'll bet it's those pigeons or those pesky lost seagulls!"

She looked up.

She shouldn't have, and not because of her ongoing war with the neighborhood pigeons.

"ABNERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!"

Paris looked out across the street at Voyager, floating above The Kravitz house. He gulped---hard. He felt as though he'd just swallowed the proverbial bitter pill. Trying to joke was no help, in this instance.

"Samantha---my ride's here. Can I borrow some antimatter--and maybe an antacid?"

Samantha looked out the window. She also looked at a very nervous Tom Paris. Taking a cue from a surgeon she knew, she offered up a joke, meant to calm frayed nerves.

"Tom, that's a fine-looking ship. What'll you take for her?"

Paris briefly glared at his host. Sam shrugged, remembering that doctor's humor was not always a laughing matter.

"Welllll...."

"Oh, we are so very dead. The temporal disaster this creates could effect....I can't even begin to list it all."

Tom tapped his commbadge.

"Paris to Captain Janeway."

"Tom...how bad are things?"

"Well, my thumb got cut using the TV's remote control, and my foot itches. And if you mean Voyager being visible to the whole neighborhood---it's really, really bad."

Aboard the ship, Janeway nodded.

"This era is your specialty, Mister Paris. And we both know that ascending suddenly will just draw more unwanted attention."

Paris recalled something he had seen in the skies over Westport.

"Captain, hot-air dirigibles were not entirely uncommon in this time. I suggest a disguising hologram. A balloon that looks like Voyager, to throw off anyone who actually saw the ship."

"Superior thinking, Mister Paris. But first let's beam our guest home."

Darrin reappeared, and again Sam was glared at. But she glared right back.

"Look, Darrin, you must have gotten Mother pretty upset to do something like this. Now, what was it?"

This conversation occurred just as Gladys Kravitz dragged her husband Abner out to see The 'spaceship'.

"You see? You See?"

Abner shrugged, as he often did at his wife's many discoveries.

"Yeah, I see. And if they keep that blimp up there too long, I'll call the cops. But it's probably just passing overhead. Gladys--they only crash into the Super Bowl in the movies. You know movies? Fiction? Imagination?"

Gladys shook her fist at Voyager.

"You did it to me again, Samantha Stephens! But I'll get you yet!"

"Gladys, Honey? You want I should buy the Stephens' a little dog, so you can get him, too? On second thought---I don't want to upset the Humane Society."

Gladys walked into their house, and slammed the door. Leaflets in hand, a young 'hippie' approached Abner.

"Sir, would you like to leave this materialistic narcissistic world behind forever?"

Abner stared at the young man.

"When Do We Leave?"

Inside the Stephens' house, Darrin shrugged.

"I'm darned if I know, Sam. Your mother just walked into my office, I asked her to leave, and she shouted how it was for my own good. She looked older."

Tom shook his head.

"Pal...that kind of comment is not going to help your case. Maybe you should plead insanity."

"It wasn't a crack. Honest, Sam. It was like she was older than Aunt Clara. More…she called me Darrin."

"Isn't that your name?"

"Are You Tom Paris?"

"The One And Only. Wanna see some ID?"

"Well, pleased to meet you Tom. Now mind your own business!"

"Darling, Mother has called you Darrin...once or twice. Okay, this is odd."

While Samantha pondered, Tom again contacted his ship.

"Hey, guys--Now would be a good time to beam me up. Mister Stephens is back, and our work is done here--isn't it? Cause I've got this nagging feeling that it isn't."

The voice that responded was not one of Tom's crewmates. But it was familiar.

"Paris, This Is Captain Braxton. Your ship has been seized by Time Fleet Command."

"Braxton? But aren't you in a temporal rubber room, somewhen?"

"I was re-merged with several more stable temporal counterparts. Now, remand yourself over to answer for numerous violations of every temporal law I can name."

As if to illustrate his control over this situation, Braxton then beamed every occupant of Voyager's Bridge into the Stephens' living room. Most surprised was Naomi Wildman, who had only been visiting the Bridge.

Sam spoke up.

"Listen...Captain Braxton? This mess is hardly their fault. My Mother started all this. They just tried to correct things."

Captain Janeway nodded in agreement.

"And we had no intention of travelling anywhere in time."

Braxton was if anything, more dismissive than usual.

"Captain Janeway did you or did you not ignore Mister Stephens' advice regarding his mother-in-law's magic? Lord that sounds silly when I say it out loud."

Janeway hated conceding a point to either Darrin or Braxton, but clearly both had been right in this instance.

"I...suppose we did. But we had every reason to believe it would work."

"Why? Because you said so? Mister Stephens, how many spells have you had cast upon you in the last seven years, your time?"

Darrin nodded grimly.

"About three-hundred. Wait. Did you say years or months?"

Sam winced.

"That many?"

Janeway spoke up again.

"Your point, Captain Braxton?"

Now, Braxton looked as if he was struggling to recall something. To Chakotay, the man wore the same look he himself got while on sacred ground.

"I think it would be obvious. Mister Stephens' experience in these matters, including temporal displacement, is many times your own. You should have deferred to it."

Darrin then demonstrated that his feud with Samantha's family was at least in part a self-inflicted wound.

"Well, that's what you get for having a woman Captain."

Janeway's response was quick and in a like manner.

"Listen up, you mealy-mouthed, sexist, bigoted, two-bit dictator! As we prepared for our attempt to put you back where you belong, all I heard about was how in your house, you forbid this, and your wife broke this rule, and you like meals prepared without magic. My God, You Are More Of A Dinosaur Than Some Dinosaurs I've Met!"

Darrin did not back off.

"I take it back, Captain Janeway. A woman makes a perfectly good Commanding Officer. But you'd make an even better Drill Instructor! Everyone on your ship has probably heard you demean them or threaten them with the brig! You asked your XO's advice exactly once and then acted like he never even gave it."

A very silent Chakotay was glad someone else noticed what was becoming a pronounced trend on Voyager.

"Do you deny that you are a dinosaur?"

"I am a dinosaur. But I can evolve-- and when I'm done----YOU'LL STILL BE A DICTATOR!"

While the Dinosaur and The Dictator argued, the children chatted.

"Hi, I'm Tabitha. What's Your Name?"

"I'm Naomi. This house is great. You're so lucky to live on Earth. I might want to see the Earth in my time, someday."

Actually, Naomi found it quite primitive and underequipped by her standards, but it was a real home, and sometimes she wondered what life outside of Voyager would be like.

"But you live on a spaceship! That's so neat! Just like The Robinsons."

"Who?"

"The people from TV. The ones who are Lost In Space."

"What's TV?"

Tabitha guided Naomi into her father's study, and created a television.

"Wow. It's like the holodeck--only the computer decides everything. Are these people the Robinsons?"

"Nope. They're The Bradys."

"Really? What's Their Story?"

"Let's not go there, kay' Naomi?"

"Alright. But they really should not have been playing ball in the house. Wait--can you do anything with your power?"

"Cept cancel somebody else's spell--or keep Daddy out of trouble with Grandma."

Naomi smiled.

"Seven Of Nine....Come Here!"

* * *

While the Captain was arguing with seemingly everyone, Tom ducked upstairs to use the Stephens' ancient refresher. When he was done, Be'lanna was waiting for him. She looked almost shy.

"Hi, Tom."

"Er, Hi, Yourself."

Her hands were behind her back, and she seemed to be almost giggling.

"So, you gonna kiss me or what?"

"Here? Be'lanna, this is literally neither time nor the place."

She became upset at that, perhaps even pouty.

"If You Don't Kiss Me, Then We're Broken Up!"

Paris shook his head.

"I only kiss the real Be'lanna."

A throat cleared behind them.

"You've got that right."

The Be'lanna in the middle sighed, and quickly resumed the form of Tabitha Stephens.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted Tom to kiss me."

Be'lanna walked over and picked her up.

"Kiddo, I admire your taste. But I called dibs quite some time back, Ok?"

Tabitha smiled.

"Ok."

Be'lanna winced from the loudness of the arguments downstairs.

"Well, the Captain's in rare form."

"That's not so loud, Be'lanna. Sometimes, when one of Mommy's family does something to Daddy or comes up with these weird rit-ua-ls, then the grownups really get loud!"

Be'lanna put Tabitha down.

"You wanna try and trick Tom again? I'll show you how to act, so's you can get that kiss---a short one, I mean."

"Sure! But I thought you called dibs."

"Let's just say, that when it comes to Mommy's family being weird--that you and I have a lot in common."

"Kay. Be'lanna?"

"Yes, Tabitha?"

"Can the kiss be a long short one?"

Torres chuckled.

"Only if you defeat me on the field of honor."

"Okay!"

As Tabitha began to gesture, Torres stopped her.

"Don't even THINK about it."

* * *

Back in the living room, Braxton had heard enough.

"Look. I don't care about who started it. We're one and all for the 29th Century, where this matter will be adjudicated and the appropriate timelines erased."

Darrin sarcastically whispered at the time traveler.

"Come with me if you want to be potentially wiped out of existence."

"Now, I've locked onto Mrs. Stephens' mother, Endora."

Endora appeared, looking pretty much as she always had.

"What is the meaning of this outrage? I was listening to Bach play Beethoven when this chronal copper grabbed me up through time and place! Derwood--is this your doing?"

Darrin stared at his nemesis-in-law.

"No, Endora. And it isn't yours, either. Sam--everyone--this is not the Endora who cast me onto Voyager."

Tuvok ran a scanner over Endora, which she brushed away.

"One would think that you Elves would have better manners!"

Tuvok corrected this amusing but erroneous identification.

"Madam--I am a Vulcan. And Mister Stephens is incorrect--this is the individual who cast him into the future. The chronal signatures match almost precisely."

Darrin found that future science-speak was not his strong suit.

"So does that mean that Voyager is now the property of McMahon & Tate?"

Braxton asked to see Tuvok's scanner.

"I'll have a look at that. Yes, they match almost precisely. But not quite. Just let me recalibrate my capture beam to compensate."

To everyone's shock--especially Endora's--the much older Endora of Darrin's description appeared. She hugged Darrin, without a hint of hesitation.

"My boy--so good to see you again."

Janeway thought of something.

"Seven--get over here, and check out these two with your temporal transceiver."

Kathryn stopped as a fetching six-year old blond girl walked up. But it was not Tabitha Stephens. Rather it was Annika Hansen. She smiled.

"Captain--isn't it wonderful? Tabitha made me a child again. Now, my poor socialization skills can be corrected. And I already know what I'll look like as an adult."

While Janeway took this in, the older Endora pointed at her younger counterpart.

"Vicious hag--unable to know how much you loved this boy until it was too late. Do you need to lose him as you lost others, just to teach you how wonderful mortals really are?"

Endora and Darrin stared at each other and spoke as one.

"Samantha, a martini---Make It A Double!!"

Janeway nodded.

"Mrs. Stephens--make that all around."

Torres quipped.

"This is turning into late night at Sandrine's."

Janeway stared numbly at the transformed Seven Of Nine. Upset by all the chaos, she gave an order. But not to a member of her crew.

"Tabitha--change her back this instant!"

But Seven--now once again six-year old Annika Hansen, disagreed.

"Captain! I'm myself again. Aren't you happy for me? I've gotten a second chance. The childhood the Borg took away from me."

As was becoming usual of late, Janeway wasn't hearing her.

"Naomi? Was this your idea?"

Naomi shrugged nervously.

"I just wanted Seven to be happy. Doesn't she deserve this?"

The Captain shook her head.

"Tabitha--change her back, and that's an order!"

Samantha stepped up to Kathryn, and folded her arms, looking for a moment like a female Djinn of the Stephens' acquaintance.

"Captain--I give my daughter orders. My husband gives our daughter orders."

Tabitha whispered to Naomi.

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"You--do not give our daughter orders. Do we have an understanding, or should I call in Henry Kissinger?"

"Then I suggest you order her to undo the spell she placed on Seven--immediately."

Darrin added his opinion of Janeway's temper.

"Watch it, Sam. She'll put you in the brig."

"That is quite enough out of the both of you. I won't have a member of my crew played with by some out of control, third rate Q."

Darrin knew well the look on Sam's face. He prayed to never see that look again directed at him. She held up one finger, and cast a spell.

"A leader who shouts is no leader at all; Watch, this time, as you take the fall."

Janeway saw Sam's nose twitch. Then, she saw Tom Paris and Be'lanna Torres standing outside the brig--with Janeway herself inside of it. Tom had a grim look on his face--and a much higher rank.

"You forced this, Kathy. You deliberately disobeyed my orders and The Prime Directive. The one I can punish at my discretion. The other--I have to draw the line on. This crew must learn--we are Starfleet, even here. You'll spend the next thirty days in solitary- Ensign. Reflect in here about why you caused this to happen."

"Captain, this may be going a bit---"

"Commander Torres--this matter is not open for discussion, and certainly not here."

"What matter ever is?"

"You want to join her, then pull up a chair. And go get Tuvok - we need a fourth for bridge. But Kathy is in the brig for the next thirty days."

Kathy tried to talk her way out.

"Captain, they were pushing themselves into extinction!"

Paris stared back, his eyes showing not a hint of mercy.

"That's their decision. Kathy, it's not called The Prime Suggestion."

He left her alone.

A visitor came on the twentieth day. It was seemingly Samantha Wildman.

"Had enough?"

"Plenty. He wouldn't even listen to me."

Samantha Stephens gestured, and the illusion ended.

"To see ourselves as others see us, Captain. Think about it."

But now Ensign Paris got into it.

"How dare you? Samantha, I may not care for what happened, but she is and remains the Captain. And did you have to pull me into it?"

Sam was clearly surprised by this reaction.

"Tom, she humiliated you after letting the others off scot-free. You said so yourself."

"No--what I said was, I didn't completely understand the decision. But, again, she is the Captain. If drawing the line on me keeps order on the ship---well, then, so be it. I do have to thank you for something. Until you did that, I never understood Captain Janeway's rage. It's so easy to ignore policy when you think you're beyond its reach."

Janeway smiled at her defender.

"Tom--you agree with my punishment?"

"No, Ma'am. I want my old rank back, and maybe a higher one to boot. But the captain makes that choice. Not me."

Janeway chose to mend another fence.

"Samantha--I'm sorry I shouted. But Seven, or Annika, will not find what she's looking for as a child. I'm asking you to ask Tabitha to change her back."

Just then, Annika keeled over, in pain.

"Noooo---it hurts."

Tabitha was alarmed.

"Seven--what's wrong?"

The Doctor scanned the little girl.

"It's her nanoprobes. They're fighting against the magic."

Naomi shook her head.

"But Tabitha magicked those away, too."

"Unfortunately, Naomi, the magic and the nanoprobes likely both work on the same basic invasive level. They're trying to cancel each other out, and tearing poor Annika apart in the process. Borg aren't magical, but their influence may be just as hard to undo."

Sam nodded to Tabitha.

"Honey--you better change her back."

"Yes, Mommy."

In a flash, Annika was gone, and Seven Of Nine returned. A tearful Tabitha apologized.

"I'm sorry, Seven. I couldn't make the Borg stuff go away."

But Seven smiled lightly, and picked Tabitha up.

"To offer apology after giving me so extraordinary a gift is not rational, Tabitha Stephens. Like the Omega Particle, I was able to enjoy it while it lasted. I owe you a great debt."

"No you don't. People just do that for each other, when they're friends."

"So Naomi Wildman has informed me."

Chakotay nodded.

"We have love and new understanding. Should we try for peace in this time-chaos?"

Darrin shook his head.

"Lotsa Luck there, Commander. I still don't understand who the other Endora is. Doppelganger? Duplicate? Another--cousin?"

Braxton emerged from the kitchen with both Endoras.

"Mrs. Stephens, this second woman is also your mother--from the year 2372."

The current Endora added more. She looked both shaken and stirred.

"Just shortly before---My Death."

A subject witches and warlocks were even more sensitive to than so-called 'mortals' had been broached. The older Endora sat down next to Darrin.

"And I am here, my sweet boy--to prevent your premature death before my own time runs out."

Darrin nervously gulped his martini. If Braxton had any objections to all this, he was keeping them to himself. Paris took note of his inaction.

"He's not a very effective time cop, is he?"

Remembering the man's lectures in 1996, Torres agreed.

"Yeah, Q did a better job. And he wasn't even trying."

Darrin asked 'the mother-in-law of the future' a very important question.

"Endora--how do I die?"

A bit addled, the older woman wiped away a tear.

"Darrin, my son---your drinking kills you."

Suddenly, Darrin turned and looked nervously at his always well-stocked liquor cabinet. He then turned and looked at the well-stocked Seven of Nine, and hoped his wife didn't catch him.

"Is that true?"

The Doctor walked over, and saw that Braxton was not stopping him from speaking freely. Kim looked at Braxton, wondering why the time-enforcer was even there.

"Mister Stephens--I'm afraid it is. My exam showed you are suffering from the initial stages of cirrhosis of the liver. I wouldn't have been entirely surprised to find out your blood type was Martini Positive. "

Janeway ignored her EMH's sarcasm. She looked gently at the older Endora, and sat down next to her.

"That's why you involved my ship, isn't it? Darrin could dispute a 20th Century Doctor, but not mine."

The woman nodded.

"Yes. Also, I had hoped that the Time Authority wouldn't notice, since you've already been on so many time trips. Oh, young lady, I am so very sorry. I meant no harm."

Janeway hugged the older woman, though the captain in her wanted to order Tuvok to clap her in irons and toss her in the brig.

"No apologies necessary. A great man once said that his logic was imperfect when it concerned his son's life."

Darrin nodded.

"Which pretty much explains Frank Sinatra Jr.'s career."

Smiling at the silly joke, the older Endora suddenly got a distant look. Braxton openly gulped, indicating he knew what was to follow.

"We have to get her back to the 24th Century--Now!"

The two disappeared. A moment later, Braxton returned alone.

"She's gone. Her family was with her, including you, Mrs. Stephens."

The younger Endora magicked herself away, unable to deal with all she had seen. Darrin looked over the cabinet that had been his solution for many years.

"Captain Janeway--do you know anyone who would like a soon-to-be unused piece of furniture?"

Braxton seemed to be staring hard at the family. He then saw little Adam Stephens come downstairs.

"Captain Janeway--we have to go."

Be'lanna put her hands down.

"My dad had a cabinet like this he bought on Caligari Four. I'll take it."

Braxton shook his head.

"Ms. Torres--I kind of need that cabinet. I'll tell you why aboard Voyager."

Janeway shook the hands of The Stephenses.

"It was a pleasure meeting you. Sorry if I seemed brusque, but I'm just as protective of my family--as you are of yours."

Darrin smiled.

"Then, I say, there's no apology necessary."

Samantha nodded in agreement.

"But Kathryn, please watch your temper. You can, at times, be a real witch!"

Naomi and Tabitha hugged.

"Thanks for everything, Tabitha. You've got it good, here. I wish I had a little brother. But having Neelix around kinda helps."

"Naomi---sometimes I wish I didn't. He's mostly okay. But if I catch him messing with my toys again, I'll turn him into a hissing beetle!"

Braxton seemed oddly taken with Little Adam.

"Remember, big guy. No matter what happens, they all love you. Understand?"

The little boy nodded and smiled. Darrin was puzzled, and he felt like this was almost his natural state.

"What was that about?"

"You'll understand, Mister Stephens. Though it'll take time."

With that, the time travelers all vanished, along with Darrin's liquor cabinet.

"Anything, Darling?"

"Yeah. Sam. Get me an orange juice."

* * *

USS VOYAGER, 24TH CENTURY

Braxton prepared to leave.

"Captain, Endora's spell left you no choice, so this won't be held against you. Since our business is done, goodbye."

Torres shook her head.

"What about the cabinet?"

Kim added his two cents.

"And how did you know so much about the Stephenses?"

Captain Janeway took this opportunity to present a theory of hers, formed moments before they left Connecticut.

"Actually, Harry, that's really quite simple. Captain Braxton here knew about the Stephens' family, independent of the Time Fleet's files. Because they were his family. It's all hunches and half-guesses, I'll concede. But I'm willing to speculate that you, Captain, were once that little boy. You're Adam Stephens, aren't you? It makes sense, in a way. You didn't lecture the older Endora, or admonish her younger counterpart to avoid casting time-spells. You couldn't. Because as annoying as I'm sure she got, a child always loves their grandmother. Care to comment, Captain Stephens?"

Uncharacteristically, the gruff man smiled. He remembered his childhood. It was a silly, wild time that sometimes made no sense. Endless relatives, endless attempts to find out their secret, and all the crazy people they knew. It was why he'd got into temporal enforcement. A child raised amid spells and mortal/magical politics, seeking law and order, and a past that couldn't be undone by a twitch. For all that nonsensical chaos, he found he missed that time, that place, and those people. Yet he revealed none of this to the Voyager crew.

"You're free to speculate, Captain Janeway. Time has its secrets, people. So do I."

He vanished, and Torres shook her head.

"So. I guess that's his way of explaining why he needed the cabinet."

Janeway expected no better.

"People--I may have my moments. But if I ever get like him, I hereby order you to mutiny!"

The 'Ayes' that immediately followed gave The Captain food for thought.

Tuvok stared at his terminal.

"Fascinating. Captain--Endora was successful--and yet she was not. Darrin Stephens did not die from Cirrhosis Of The Liver."

"That's great."

"He died in 2005--of Liver Cancer."

Janeway looked sad, while Chakotay considered.

"It could have been unrelated. Or perhaps the earlier drinking weakened his liver. Either way--he was mortal, like all of us."

Tom tried to lighten the mood.

"Speak for yourself, Sir. I plan to live forever."

Janeway quipped.

"Maybe by then you'll make Lieutenant again."

Tom let it go, as well he might.

In the 29th Century, Endora's sometimes-uptight grandson poured himself a small drink, and saluted his family's memory. They were almost all good ones--even those of his sister's teenaged temperament.

In the 24th Century, the starship Voyager continued on its journey home.

* * *

EARTH, 1973

"Look, Endora--thanks for watching the kids. I don't want to get maudlin. But I'm glad we have a working truce, without armed guards enforcing it."

"Well, Der--Darrin. We have this truce only so long as you, and my daughter relax while in Florida. Do not let your job interfere, as it has before."

"No problem. I didn't give Larry the slightest clue where I was going, and this time, Sam is zapping us down."

But Tom Paris's comparison of Larry Tate to a Ferengi was not an unfair one, ear lobes aside. As before, he entered without knocking.

"Darrin, I'm glad I caught you!"

"I'll bet you are. The answer's no."

"C'mon--this account---"

"Is Important. It'll save the company, or your job, or mine. Larry--please at least don't insult my intelligence. Try a new line once in a while."

"Endora--speak to him. This vacation can wait. He has to provide for your daughter and grandchildren."

"Laurence--much as it pains me to say it, I agree quite firmly with Darrin. This vacation is a needed one."

Larry shrugged.

"He'll do it or he's fired."

Darrin's patience, never his strength, was at an end.

"He won't do it, and he quits. I warned you, Larry. But you don't listen. Sam has--money saved up. Its old money. Very old. We'll get by more than nicely. We both need this to be a real vacation."

Darrin's change of heart was also practical. Last vacation, he'd driven thirty-eight hours straight, missed Montreal, and reached Baffin Island instead. Since no magic was involved, they still had no idea how he'd done this.

"Hmmph. And here, I thought you were an officer on this corporate ship. Officers stay with the ship, even if it's going down." 

"My heart goes out to you, Larry. It just doesn't go on for you anymore."

Endora grinned.

"Laurence---you are correct. Officers should go down with the ship."

Endora gestured, and Larry disappeared. In his place appeared a pale-skinned man wearing a mostly mustard-colored tunic, with dark slacks. He looked about.

"Have I experienced a Trans-Temporal Displacement?"

Darrin decided he would calmly ask Endora to bring Larry back, rather than yelling as he felt like. He really needed this vacation. He spoke to the visitor.

"If by that you mean have you traveled in time, then the answer is yes. Mister---?"

The man nodded.

"I am Lieutenant Commander Data. Pardon me sir, is this place Veridian Three?"

* * *

USS ENTERPRISE-D, 2371

La Forge yelled over the intercom.

"Warp core breach!"

The saucer section could not get away fast enough, and was thrown toward the planet below. Riker yelled out.

"All hands, brace for impact!"

At the helm sat a very confused Larry Tate. He saw Veridian Three onscreen. He said some words very unlike him.

"Oh...Shit."

THE END


End file.
